How to Discover Purpose When You're a Single Mom

Written by Sierra Lockhart

Graphic Design by Joel Lopez

A smiling mom is wearing a paper crown and getting a kiss on the cheek from their child.

So, you’re a single mom. Now what? You need to care for your kids, make sure they’re loved, and have everything they need. You also have to deal with other soccer moms *shudder*, pay the bills, and take care of your home. What about you, though? Should you give up any dreams of going back to school or starting a career? Some people may say your purpose is to be a mother, pay the bills, and try to find a new partner to rely on. That couldn’t be further from the truth!

I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to let others decide your purpose in life. You don’t even need a partner! You’re a rockstar all on your own. You can be an amazing mother AND chase your dreams. Let me tell you how.

What Brings You Joy?

When you sit down in one of your rare moments of peace, what are the things you actually want to do? I’m not talking about the giant to-do list haunting you from across the room. I’m talking about your happiness! Do you want to get lost in a book? Garden? Vigilante justice in the night?

 Whatever it is, you can turn it into a career. Because let’s be honest… If you want to create an actual career, you’ll want something you LOVE! You don’t want to grind away, hating your job, because you only live once! (Cliché, but true!)

Think About Your Needs

What do you need to be happy? What do you need to pay the bills? What do you need to take care of your children? There are different needs, and it’s essential to address them all. Here are some needs to consider:

  1. Financial- How much money do you need to pay the bills and any other expenses?
  2. Time accommodations- How much time can you commit to your career while considering the time you need with your kids?
  3. Personal- What do you need to make sure you’re loving and caring for yourself? 

Don’t think about the bare minimum when considering these needs. What do you actually need to be comfortable in these areas? The key here is to balance your life between home and work.

Rid Your Life of Toxicity

When you’re working towards a goal, the last thing you need is toxicity. This can come in many forms, such as a toxic work environment, toxic people, or toxic situations. If you have a “friend” who habitually brings you down and makes you feel discouraged, maybe it’s time to distance yourself. If your current job gives you anxiety from the moment you wake up, perhaps it’s time to find something more manageable to get you by while you work on your goals.  

Another thing to consider is: Are you self-sabotaging? It’s hard to realize that we may be the source of toxicity in our own lives. The first step to resolving your personal toxicity is identifying it. Then you can take steps to re-route that toxicity and turn it into motivation. 

Surrounding yourself with positivity and encouragement is key to achieving your goals. Create a support system, including that person in the mirror!

Turn Your Passions Into a Career

So you’ve thought about what makes you happy, considered your needs, and created a support system for yourself. The next step is figuring out where you’re going.

The best way to do this is by using those things that make you happy and turning them into a career. If you love gardening, you could consider becoming a florist, going back to school for horticulture, or even working towards owning your own nursery!

If you love the language arts, maybe a career in editing or content writing would tickle your fancy. You could even write a blog on your experience as a single mom! There really needs to be more of us. *Hint! Hint!*

Put time into this step. Imagine yourself along these paths and consider both your happiness and your needs. Once you figure out what makes your heart pound and giddy with excitement, that’s the career you need to go for!

Let’s Do This

You have a solid plan now. It’s time to buckle up, put on your big girl panties, and do the thing! Acknowledge and accept that this may be a long process. Speaking from personal experience, you may need to put your blood, sweat, and tears into this mission of yours.

You CAN find a purpose beyond being a single mom, and it will be worth it.  For more career advice, we have a bunch of other amazing blogs, too! Be sure to enter our Blossom Your Career to Awesome Sweepstakes for a chance to win a $10,000 career makeover while you’re at it!

Have a Super Day, Momma! Let’s go make our kids proud.

I’m a working single mom in college who has always had a passion for reading and writing. I understand the struggle of starting a new journey and I want to share what I’ve learned along the way.